After we moved to the Northwest for seminary, we added plane travel to the itinerary, often driving an additional five hundred miles or more to make sure we got to visit as many people as we could. There was a lot of hurrying and scurrying, and not much in the way of peace or rest.

Our most peaceful Christmas was probably the one when I was too pregnant to travel with our first baby due in January. So we went to a Christmas Eve service in our own church (a first!), had a leisurely morning and then joined nearby extended family for Christmas dinner. It was the beginning of a new way of doing the holidays. And while our location has changed again and often includes more family than we had available then, one thing has stayed the same–we stick pretty close to home and keep things fairly low key.

Since my oldest son was about 4 years old (old enough to understand that Christmas and presents go together), Christmas has taken on a new significance for me. I still love buying and giving gifts, and getting together with family and participating in all the pomp and pageantry that fills the month of December. But because I want my boys to be very aware of the reason for it all, I’ve changed my own approach.

Except for several Nativity sets and our special Advent calendar and mini tree, we don’t decorate until December 15. By then we’ll have spent two full weeks following our Nativity devotion on the journey to Bethlehem. We’ll also read a Nativity-themed story book or two each evening. Presents won’t be placed under our Christmas tree until late on Christmas Eve, so that the gifts don’t become the focal point.

I’ve learned to mark the calendar with the events that mean the most to us, and leave space for a few new things. And I try to have the majority of my shopping done before Thanksgiving (which is one of the reasons you won’t find me with the throngs of shoppers on ‘Black Friday’). I find my bargains throughout the year so I don’t have to worry about fighting crowds, losing out on ‘deals,’ or missing time that could be more meaningfully spent while searching for the perfect last-minute gift.

That’s not to say I’ve mastered a stress-less holiday, but I’m working on it. That’s why I was glad for the opportunity to review “Hurry Less, Worry Less at Christmas,” by Judy Christie. I appreciated her perspective that the best holiday is the one that is meaningful and significant to each of us–and each will look different from the others. For example, my version of being done with shopping before the turkey is served might sound suffocating to those who see pumpkin pie-fueled planning as the official launch of the Christmas season. The author doesn’t give a formula to a more spiritual, less stressful holiday. She does give a lot of ideas for how we can move our celebrations that direction.

A few of the suggestions that stood out to me:

* Ask yourself if there’s a tradition you don’t enjoy doing. Consider not doing it.
* List the words that describe how you want your holidays to look–fun, peaceful, family-oriented, giving, simple, etc. Plan the things that will move you that direction.
* “Few things in life are perfect, but many are wonderful.” Learn to enjoy the wonderful imperfect things.

She points out how easy it is to get caught up in old traditions that don’t suit us any more, and new expectations that seem to arise. She suggests that we start out by making sure we aren’t conforming to the world’s expectations.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2.

By starting out with seeking God’s will for all of our days–even our holidays–we’ll be less likely to be caught up in unnecessary distractions that take the joy away from this blessed time of year.

So, whether you’re out braving the crowds on this Black Friday (while I’m warm and cozy, sleeping), or you’ve vowed not to think about Christmas until the turkey is all gone, take a little time to consider how you’ll spend the next month. If the idea already overwhelms you, be sure to enter the drawing for your own copy of “Hurry Less, Worry Less at Christmas,” on our sister site, 5 Minutes for Books. If you only get through the first chapter, you should be well on your way to enjoying the coming month in a way you might not have otherwise.

What is your favorite Christmas tradition? What’s one you could live without (if others in your world would go for it)? What’s one thing you do to make the season less stressful?

God had Moses write down his words to the Israelites. Jesus used stories to communicate God’s truth to his disciples and to the masses who followed Him. And when all was said and done, God gave us a book to remember what He’d done and to reveal Himself to we who live thousands of years later.

It’s true, if we got down to the most important words of all, we’d need nothing more than the Word of God. And yet, as a writer, I am still compelled to compile words of my own. Words that help me record what God has done. Words that help me share what he has done.

I’ve been collecting stories written by others that tell of God’s work in their lives for a project I’m working on. As I read through a couple of them I was struck by the similar message that came through their very different circumstances–a message that I needed to ponder. And I am drawn closer to Him by seeing the similarities of our experiences and the consistency of our understanding when we view those experiences through the filter of His truth.

“Come and hear, all you who fear God;
let me tell you what He has done for me.” Psalm 66:16

We so appreciate the opportunity to share our stories with you; we’d love to hear yours as well. To help facilitate that, we’re updating the 5 Minutes for Faith Blogroll.

If you have stories of your own that you share to encourage, challenge or inspire, and your blog that is updated at least once a week, submit a link to 5minutesforfaith@gmail.com for consideration.

Has reading someone’s story ever changed you?

I remember thinking, “I’m only 8 years old. What I have done to be ashamed of?”

Six weeks later my mom picked up my my sister and I from school in the middle of the day and we were soon on a bus from Michigan to California to “visit” my grandparents. I didn’t know I’d never live in Michigan again.

I didn’t see my dad for the next six years. We seldom heard from him. He usually remembered to send a card for Christmas and our birthdays, but that was the extent of his involvement.

By the time he came to visit when I was 14, I no longer viewed him as my “Daddy.” Sure, he was technically my father, but we had no real relationship. And he wasn’t a protector or provider or playmate or any of the things kids come to (or should be able to) expect from a dad.

Even though my mom remarried and there was a male presence in my life, he couldn’t fill the place of the Daddy I didn’t have.

I don’t remember when I first heard the verse, “He is a father to the fatherless.” (Psalm 68:5), but I knew its truth in my heart. One July evening the summer before that sadly memorable birthday, during our church’s Vacation Bible School week, I came to understand that God loved me and wanted me to be His child. I did have a sense that God was always with me from that point on. There’s a song that my kids are singing in VBS this year that puts it perfectly,
“I have a Father, He calls me His own,
He’ll never leave me, no matter where I go.” (Based on Psalm 139.)

Because of His presence in my life, I didn’t feel abandoned when we moved from Michigan to California. Or when I struggled through the period of adjusting to being in a step-family. Or when I changed high schools three times.

I know I’m not alone in having an absent father. Sometimes, even kids who have a dad who lives in their house, has a job that provides for them, shows up for their games or performances, don’t feel like they have that real “Daddy” that their heart longs for.

And that can make Father’s Day an especially difficult time. TV commercials show dads and kids laughing and playing ball together. Or washing the car and having a heart-to-heart talk about important life issues. The racks of Father’s Day cards are filled with sentiments that feel artificial or insincere. And in the midst of it all there’s that little voice that says, “I wish…”

I was one of those kids. In some ways, I still am. But despite my own dad’s inability or unwillingness to be a good father, I am grateful I lived with the unspoken but heartfelt awareness that God fills those places.

Maybe you didn’t grow up with a real “Daddy,” either. Or maybe your heart breaks because your children don’t have the dad they deserve. My prayer is that you’ll know the comforting touch of your heavenly Daddy.

2 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV) – “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

“In the beginning, God created….” Genesis 1:1

In school, creative arts are often listed as ‘electives;’ in our adult life, they’re called ‘hobbies.’ Yet the very first thing we learn about the nature of God is that He’s creative.

I never considered myself particularly “creative.” In my mind, that word was always equal to “artistic,” and because I couldn’t paint or draw I figured it didn’t apply to me.

Looking back though, I see a creative thread that’s run through my life–it just didn’t meet my narrow definition of the word.

My mom started teaching us cooking basics when were in elementary school. I must have been in about 6th grade when I decided I wanted to make something special for Valentine’s dessert. My frozen-yogurt/jello cubes with a conversation heart in the middle weren’t a culinary triumph, but it was fun trying (and my family was dduly impressed). By high school, my sister and I were responsible for dinner one night each week. We had to plan the menu and do most of the cooking ourselves.

Eventually I learned that while I don’t get too excited about cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner, I do like making special occasion dishes, especially desserts.

When my boys came along, I knew I wanted to make their birthday cakes myself rather than buy one (partly out of economy and partly because I want them to remember my personal contribution to their celebrations). In the past eight years I’ve made everything from train cakes (several variations including one with a blue jello river running through it) to Curious George to assorted super heros.

I was required to take Home Ec in school. My earliest sewing projects weren’t too exciting, but by my senior year I was making most of my own clothes (my meager clothing budget went a lot farther that way). Picking patterns that would look best on me, choosing the right kinds of fabrics for a specific garment, selecting just the perfect button, all scratched that creative itch.

After a few years I could see a dress in a newspaper ad or catalog and figure out how to piece patterns together to make my own version. I couldn’t earn a spot on “Project Runway,” but I did love having one-of-a-kind things for special occasions.

Once upon a time I worked in news production for a local network TV affiliate. One of my duties was doing computer graphics during newscasts–sports scores, weather stats, election results, etc. These were the days pre-PC (personal computer). It was an exciting revelation that I could get the computer to do things I’d never been able to get my hands to do with pen or paint.

Over time, my definition of “creativity” has broadened, and I’ve gained a new appreciation for what God gave us when He instilled us with the urge to create. Like other aspects of His character, our feeble human attempts are a way of praising him as well as exemplifying Him to the world around us.

My hands still can’t paint, but I can make beautiful pictures as I see God’s creation through my camera lens.

My fingers can’t produce a tune from piano keys, but I can praise Him with my voice (in my car, alone!).

And He’s given me a mind that loves words. His, above all. And I love to use the words He gives me to help convey His words to others.

Whatever your creative outlet–whether you get an urge to pick up a paintbrush or a piece of fabric or to sit down at the piano or the computer–remember you’re giving back to the Creator a bit of His nature that He placed in you.

“In the beginning God created…and it was good.

What is your favorite way to express your creativity?

Funny, we’ve known since biblical times that it’s not wise to build on shifting sands, but in California and Florida, and even along the shores of rivers and lakes in-between, people sacrifice security for the view.

As one evacuating resident said “The beauty is still here, but there’s no safety.”

If you grew up in church, you probably remember the children’s song that says, “The foolish man built his house upon the sand…the rains came down, and the floods came up…and the house on the sand went SMASH!”

So why is it that we make these same mistakes after generations? A speaker I heard recently said, “If God has already told us something is true, there’s no point in asking again, hoping for a different answer.”

We do that in so many ways. “Surely He can’t mean that I shouldn’t…(fill in the blank with the willfulness of choice).”

I’m one of the first for wanting to know why I can’t or shouldn’t do something (my mom would attest that “why” was one of my first and certainly my most-oftened used word).

But one thing I’ve learned about scripture is that even though God didn’t explain all of the “why’s” for the cautions He gave us, history (and astronomy and biology and archeology) have proven the wisdom in the warnings.

It’s tempting to think the warnings or ‘rules’ won’t really apply to us; we’ll be fine even if we try to defy the laws of nature. But we can take a lesson from that children’s song and be sure we’re building our life on the solid rock of the Words from the One who knows better.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew 7:24-27

I’ve heard these words in the past, and generally ignore them and order something anyway, knowing the boy will cave once everyone else is served. But this particular mood of his was more definite than others, and I decided to let him have what he wanted (or didn’t want, as the case may be).

As I prepped his younger brother’s pancakes, the fragrance of the buttery goodness made me feel a little badly for him as he moped from across the table. He claimed he wasn’t hungry, and I would have been okay with that, but his attitude never changed.

The food was good, the service very gracious; the rest of us had a really enjoyable time while he continued to sulk. He didn’t only miss out on a nice meal, he missed out on the fellowship that the rest of shared as well.

It dawned on me that we often participate in church in a similar way.

We voice our opinion (or maybe we don’t), but when things don’t go to our liking we opt out and side grumpily on the sidelines.

Have you ever heard (or thought) these kinds of things?

“I don’t like video lectures for Bible study, so I’m not going this time.”

“The menu (sermon/music, etc.) isn’t my favorite, so I’m going to skip it until (worship leader/preacher, etc) is back.”

“I’ve been in church since I was born, I really don’t need anything extra at this point.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to skip a meeting or Bible study or Sunday morning only to be met with a hug or conversation or scripture that completely blessed my day.

Of course, I’ve been on the other side of that equation as well. Just this week I missed out on two such occasions. I’ll never know what blessings may have been in store for me.

I think one of the greatest lessons of childhood is how to get beyond the “I’m the center of the universe,” kind of thinking to realize that in virtually every circumstance, there is a bigger picture at play.

It’s true in our homes and it’s true in our churches. Decisions may not always suit us, but they’re generally made with the greatest good in mind. While the meal may not be made up of all of our favorite dishes, it can still be satisfying and nourishing.

And sometimes when that’s not the case, the solution doesn’t lie in removing ourselves from the situation, but in participating to bring about the change we desire.

At the very least, we have the potential to bless others–as well as be blessed ourselves–when we show up expecting good things and being available to serve or be served.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

Is there a circumstance in your life that you’ve ‘checked out of’ because it doesn’t suit you that might actually be an opportunity for blessing or growth? Don’t disregard the banquet in front of you because you’re holding out for ‘fast food.’

“Moooom! He’s spitting!”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any patience for tattling. If someone is in imminent danger of physical harm, I want to know about it, but otherwise, deal with it or drop it.

I’ve tried to empower my kids to let someone else know when they’re breaking a rule or doing something they shouldn’t; they don’t need me to intervene for every random thing. At least, that’s my theory.

I thought I’d outgrown tattling a long time ago. “Deal with it or drop it.” But how often do I sit in church and think, “So-and-so really needs to hear this,” or fill my prayers with, “Lord did you see…?” Or maybe it’s on the jealousy side of things, “Why did she get the book deal/ministry position/speaking opportunity…?”

I wonder if God gets tired of hearing me whine about my perceptions of someone else’s slights and wants to respond, “I know. I see. Leave her to me. But how about you concentrate on what I’ve asked you to do?”

It does make me feel better to know that I’m not the only one who asks questions like that. Jesus was telling Peter what the future held for him. Peter turned and caught a glimpse of John (who was probably referred to as “teacher’s pet” among the other disciples).

When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” John 21:21-22

Jesus didn’t use the words, “Mind your own business,” but that’s really what he meant. In essence, “Peter, I have a plan for you. A BIG plan. You keep to what I have put in front of you.”

Mothering, ministry, writing, career…I think when we get distracted by what is happening with someone else, we make it more difficult to see God wants to do in and through us.

As we set our priorities for the coming year, this a good reminder:

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you. 1 Thessalonians 4:11

“That’s a great idea!” responded Martha. “I love having a special occasion to try new dishes, and it will be fun to invite a few good friends over and have an excuse to dress up.”

Mary and Martha chose a date, looked through cookbooks and planned the menu. Mary decided on a couple of family-favorite cookie recipes and Martha chose a couple of hot appetizers and a chocolate mint ice cream cake (with a from-scratch brownie base and homemade hot fudge) she wanted to try.

They worked together on the guest list, chosing about a dozen people who would be a fun group to bring together. A small, tastefully decorated tree and twinkle lights added a festive air to their cozy apartment.

The day of the party, Martha hurried home after work to make a centerpiece, set the table, prepare the rye-bread pizzas and put the finishing touches on the ice cream cake.

Mary got home about two hours before their friends were due. She put her cookies on plates and some candy in dishes and headed upstairs to shower and dress for the party. She came down just as the doorbell announced the arrival of the first guest.

Martha dashed upstairs while Mary answered the door. She ran a brush through her hair and threw on her party outfit, hoping the effort she put into everything else for the party would distract people from her own lack of primping.

Martha busied herself keeping trays and punch bowls filled. Between trips to the kitchen, she caught glimpses of Mary chatting with friends and leading the games they’d planned. When Martha realized a couple guests had arrived without a gift for the ‘white elephant’ exchange, she went upstairs and rummaged through the closet for a couple things to put under the tree so no one would feel left out.

As the party wound down, Martha served the dessert she’d spent two days preparing and assembling. Everyone commented how good everything was and what a great time they’d had.

Mary left to give a friend a ride home while Martha and Randy, a friend who stayed behind, started cleaning up. With everyone else gone, Martha had a hard time hiding her frustration over how the evening had gone.

“Mary had time to shower and get fixed up while I was down here making sure everything was ready. I barely had time to change my clothes!” Martha slammed the refrigerator.

“And did you notice that she never even crossed the threshold of the kitchen once the party started?” Randy had no opportunity to reply as Martha continued, “I had to serve all the food, mix more punch, get gifts for the exchange…I feel like I missed the whole party and she didn’t help at all. Even now, she’s not helping, she’s off visiting some more!”

“But Martha,” her friend interjected, “You could have let someone else make the punch. And whoever didn’t bring a gift would probably have been ok not doing the exchange. Maybe Mary had the right idea spending time with the people you cared enough to invite rather than worrying about whether everything was perfect.”

Martha wanted to argue the point that her roommate should have helped more, but there was something about Randy’s words that rang true and familiar…

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-43

The tale above isn’t simply a modern paraphrase of that well-known passage. It’s a true story. Names have been changed to draw a parallel–and to illustrate the point that even though my name is Mary, I was a complete Martha that evening.

This time of year, maybe more than any other, we face the temptation to try to make everything ‘perfect.’ We do it with the best intentions–the shopping, decorating, cooking, wrapping, giving, sharing–is done because we care about the people in our lives and want it to be a special time of year.

And yet, sometimes we miss the best part–the very people who are so important to us–because we’re lost in the details. Details that no one else is even likely to notice, let alone miss.

As you look over your “to-do” list for the coming days and start to feel overwhelmed with all you want/plan/hope/are committed to do, take a minute to remember why it’s important. If you’re feeling overloaded, drop something.

* Will anyone really notice if the cookie trays only have 3 kinds instead of 4?
* Do you really need to make a Christmas treat for each support person at the school or neighbor?
* Maybe spending an evening looking at Christmas lights with your family would make a more lasting memory than spending that same time shopping for more stocking stuffers?

May this Christmas be filled with the blessings that come from “choosing the best part,” and remembering that all of the plans, preparations and parties are really to welcome the Guest of Honor the other Mary and Martha hosted so long ago.