It has fallen out of its nest under the eaves of our roof.

The bird flaps its tiny wings, trying to fly, but it doesn’t get more than a foot off the ground.

I look out the window, watching, worried… wondering how it will survive.

I get a piece of bread, break it into crumbs and tiptoe out into the backyard. Slowly, quietly, I sneak up behind the bird and drop some crumbs on the ground hoping it will eat. But it runs away, scared.

Then the most amazing thing happens.

A mama bird lands on our fence nearby, a worm in her mouth. The baby, standing in a pile of leaves now, helpless and hungry, chirps frantically.

Instantly, the mama swoops down and feeds her baby, right there in the leaves, just a few feet from me. (The baby might have been scared, but that mama sure wasn’t.)

I go back in the house, smiling at the mama bird’s spirit and her faithfulness to find and feed her baby even when it was out of the nest.

And I realize, that’s how God is with me.

All the times I’ve fallen out of the nest in my life…

the times I’ve made mistakes or the times I’ve forgotten about Him…

he’s found me.

And like that mama did with her baby, He has given me food–the very bread of life… grace, peace, forgiveness,

an overwhelming, unconditional love.

No matter how far away we wander from time to time, or how fast we run, He’s always there, finding us and caring for us (even when we don’t realize it).

Because that’s how God is, and that’s what He does.

And I am thankful.

What about you? Have you let God find you? Do you look back and see His presenece in your wanderings too?

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast. –Psalm 139, 7-10

“Moooom! He’s spitting!”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any patience for tattling. If someone is in imminent danger of physical harm, I want to know about it, but otherwise, deal with it or drop it.

I’ve tried to empower my kids to let someone else know when they’re breaking a rule or doing something they shouldn’t; they don’t need me to intervene for every random thing. At least, that’s my theory.

I thought I’d outgrown tattling a long time ago. “Deal with it or drop it.” But how often do I sit in church and think, “So-and-so really needs to hear this,” or fill my prayers with, “Lord did you see…?” Or maybe it’s on the jealousy side of things, “Why did she get the book deal/ministry position/speaking opportunity…?”

I wonder if God gets tired of hearing me whine about my perceptions of someone else’s slights and wants to respond, “I know. I see. Leave her to me. But how about you concentrate on what I’ve asked you to do?”

It does make me feel better to know that I’m not the only one who asks questions like that. Jesus was telling Peter what the future held for him. Peter turned and caught a glimpse of John (who was probably referred to as “teacher’s pet” among the other disciples).

When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” John 21:21-22

Jesus didn’t use the words, “Mind your own business,” but that’s really what he meant. In essence, “Peter, I have a plan for you. A BIG plan. You keep to what I have put in front of you.”

Mothering, ministry, writing, career…I think when we get distracted by what is happening with someone else, we make it more difficult to see God wants to do in and through us.

As we set our priorities for the coming year, this a good reminder:

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you. 1 Thessalonians 4:11

grace: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification b: a virtue coming from God c: a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace

I can’t get away from it this morning.

I woke up with these words–a space of grace–trailing again and again across my mind. I wanted to write about something entirely different here this morning, but the right words for that post are just too elusive. And so I’m giving in to the words that are here, and I’m exploring them.

I’ve always known these spots existed, these spaces of grace, but I’ve never had reason to put a name or a description to what they were, or what they meant to my life. They are these “pockets of time” in our spiritual journey when we experience moments so filled with His power that we are literally enabled to do what we could not do before.

Things seem to both, accelerate and slow at the same time. Oftentimes our learning, our talents, and our abilities will seem to be fast-tracked during these periods even while our observations, our reflections, and our times of meditation are slowed and filled with enormous amounts of clarity.

For some, these may be the times when they capture the vision of what they have to offer to the world around them, and they go for it. For others, these moments may be where they find strength to see their way out of temptations, and do. For still others, it is a time of discovering their voice, their passion, their ability to lead, and they step out in faith.

A space of grace is when we find ourselves in that holy place where heaven touches earth and we happen to be standing in the middle of it.

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it.” Hebrews 4:16

I saw a billboard a few weeks back that simply read, touching heaven, changing lives. That’s what this life is truly about, whether that life that becomes changed is someone else’s or our own.

For me, many of these times have meant moments of ‘lightbulb revelations’ – times when His word suddenly became real to me in ways that I’d either not understood before, or simply not seen before. It is during these times that I soak up, absorb, crave…more, more, more of Him. It is always a time of thankfulness, a time of rejuvenation, a time of a lot less struggle and a lot more energy.

Sometimes these pockets of time last days, sometimes months. To be honest, when the day would eventually come that I would realize that once more I seemed to be deep in the mire and muck that is daily life I would feel a bit of disappointment in myself.

I think – even though until now I’ve not taken the time to analyze these times – I thought that I had somehow brought myself to that spot with God. That my own spirituality had somehow merited me this favored time with Him. So if I’d brought myself to this special place, then it would only stand to reason that it would be ME who took myself away from it, who brought about the end of something so precious, so sacred.

Thinking about that this morning, I feel silly. But I also feel a deep joy bubbling in my soul that just cannot be unseated.

These times – these spaces of grace – are rest stops for our soul. I picture it as though I’m on a trip, a long journey, and I pull over to the side of the road. Not necessarily for a rest, or a drink, or a bite to eat. Maybe I pull over to take out the map, look back over the miles already traveled and plan and dream and anticipate the exciting stops that lie on my horizon.

It’s a time of planning and reflection, a time to dump out the trash and fuel up with all things good. It’s a time to look back on the road behind and see – maybe for the first time in a long while – just how far along on this journey that you are, and it’s a time to look ahead, knowing now from experience that the sights, the scenery, the people might move and change or even dissipate.

But not His great love. Not His direction. Never His grace.

I’m thankful this morning for spaces of grace.

I hear other women say the same thing, too… “I think God may want me to (stay at home with my children, change jobs, homeschool, etc.), but I just don’t think I can.”

We often feel like we aren’t up to the task at hand. And the truth is we aren’t able. Often, I can’t do the hard things. At least not by myself. But, God, who is much bigger than I, has called me and equipped me to do them.

Paul struggled with this same thing. And he found that God was always sufficient in his weakness:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

When I am faced with the hard things I feel I cannot do, I can trust that God’s grace is sufficient.

And I can trust that the God who has called me to do this can give me the strength I need to do the hard things!

We like visiting the downtown area because there are cute shops and wide, tree-lined walks with lots of street-side dining. It’s a relaxing place to spend an afternoon or get an ice cream after dinner.

One aspect I am less impressed with though, is the driving. Twice in one day I drove through a particular intersection that I’ve learned to watch very carefully. It’s a 4-way stop, but you’d never know it.

There seems to be a “law of the land” that supercedes state driving regulations and somehow authorizes the person with the fanciest vehicle to barely stop (if at all) and cut off the more lowly driver. (Guess which car I was in?!) Ironically, the car I was driving is the nicest we’ve ever had; but when put up against the Land Rovers and Mercedes, we don’t measure up.

The sense of entitlement reminds me of an encounter I had a few years ago.

I hardly noticed the man as hubs and I walked to a table in the cafe at our favorite bookstore. He stood at the back of the line, perusing the overhead menu before placing his order. I recognized him as a familiar homeless man–many of the homeless have adopted this bookstore as their new daytime hangout. Coffee is cheap, refills free and you can curl up in a comfortable chair and read all day without anyone really bothering you.

After a few minutes, I got up to take my place in line to order. The shabbily dressed, unkempt, slight man was still at the back of the line. As I approached to take my place behind him, he turned to me as though expecting me to go first. He had been standing there quite a long time, so I indicated that he should go ahead of me.

The look of surprise on the man’s face startled me. I realized that he must be used to people generally looking past him as though he isn’t really there, cutting him off, preventing him from taking a place in line–or a place in society–that the rest of us take for granted.

It brought tears to my eyes to realize how often we diminish the value of other people because they aren’t dressed as nicely as we are, or they don’t speak the language as well as we do, or they pay for their coffee with money they’ve collected by recycling soda cans.

Dear Abby once said, “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Now, I’ll admit that I do struggle in situations like the intersection when I know I have “the right of way,” but I hope that I don’t create my own entitlement situations where I decide that I get to “go first” because I fancy myself somehow more important.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.” Phillipians 3:2

When we bought this house long-distance (after spending maybe 10 minutes in it) I thought the east/west thing would work out ok here though because there is so much more sunlight to begin with. What I didn’t take into account is between the porch overhang in the front and the patio in the back, there isn’t all that much natural light inside for most of the day. So here I am in a “sun-drenched” locale, with the lights on from breakfast to bedtime!

Even more strange though, is that the two rooms that should be the darkest are actually the brightest. The boys’ room and the spare room both face north. As far as I knew, that always meant they got the least amount of light. In fact, before we moved in I had those rooms painted yellow (one is called “Full Sun”) to make up for the external light I thought they’d be missing.

What I hadn’t noticed was that those rooms face the giant, new, two-story house on that side. And, it’s that house’s southern wall. And sand colored stucco is a great reflector of light. So all day long those two rooms bask in the reflected light from the house next door. Those are the only rooms that don’t need a lamp of some sort during the day; you can even see the glow all around the edges of the doors when they’re shut.

More than once I’ve felt like a Northern Exposure room. Unable to catch a ray of sunlight, needing artificial illumination all day long. Work pressures, friendships lost to distance or difference, family matters, financial troubles—all sorts of things can make me feel a bit internally gloomy.

It dawned on me (pardon the pun) that I need to be like north-facing rooms in my house. Even when my situation means I’m not getting a lot of direct sunlight; if I can reflect the Light that always shines on me, my otherwise dark passageways will be fully illuminated.

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

The jeweler called about it when we left it to be sized. He put the diamond under his loupe and made a diagram of all the imperfections that make this stone unique. Someone else may have a ring that looks like mine, but like snowflakes and fingerprints, no two diamonds are exactly alike. I know what distinguishes mine from others.

In a diamond, the nature and quantity of inclusions can diminish the value of a stone, but in our modern age of lab-created colored gems, expert Walter Schumann explains, “Inclusions are common. They are not indicators of lower quality, but show the difference between a natural stone and a synthetic stone.”

I think we’re a lot like diamonds. Our imperfections may not be visible to the naked eye, but the unique pattern of our lives is what sets us apart from one another.

I’m grateful that God sees me the way a jeweler sees a precious stone. My flaws or lack of maturity–bad attitudes, sharp tongue, overdeveloped sense of independence–don’t diminish my value to God. They show that I’m ‘real’ and leave room for Him to continue His work in me. But unlike gemstones, I am not in my final state. My ‘feathers’ can be filled and my ‘inclusions’ eliminated as the Master Jeweler continues his work in me.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” Philippians 3:12

I love my children. I have two girls, ages 4 and 6. They are my heart and my purpose. Even when they make me crazy, as children are wont to do. I received a gift when I became a mother, and it was more than just a baby. It was insight into the heart of God. I have learned more about the nature of God since I had my first child 6 years ago than I learned in the 25 years prior.

I can’t tell you how many times I am in the midst of a mommy moment and the light bulb goes on above my head. “Ohhhh… I get it.”

The other day Ella, my oldest, was trying to stack her markers end to end to touch the ceiling. They weren’t all the same kind and weren’t a tight fit. I could see right away it wasn’t going to work, and I told her so. I didn’t say it to discourage her – it was physically impossible for it to happen. She was getting so frustrated trying to get it to work, and causing herself so much unnecessary heartache. She’d get a few together and then it would fall over. Every time she’d get more frustrated, and equally determined to MAKE it work with all her 6-year-old self could muster.

It was hard to watch her when I knew it wasn’t going to work. It hurt to see her so upset when I knew she didn’t have to be. But finally I gave in and thought, “Ok, fine, knock yourself out.”

Light bulb.

How many times do I try to do things my own way? To provide for myself? How often am I trying to MAKE it work? And maybe whatever it is, is not in God’s plan for me at all. Maybe if I slowed down and listened, he’s busy whispering, “Try this…follow me…” Maybe it hurts His heart to see me feeling so upset and relying on myself.

Ohhhh…I get it.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6: 31-34 – NIV)

About the Author: Sarah is living the life God has provided but she never expected — and loving it. She’s a work-at-home mom of two girls, Ella (6) and Natalie (4), and she’s been married for almost 11 years. Sarah is searching for balance, and is suspicious that it is another one of those things only God can provide. It’s a work in progress. In the meantime, when she’s supposed to be doing something else, she can be found blogging at themommylogues.

But, I can guarantee you that there are days of heaviness in the lives of every woman I know. Doesn’t matter how perfect their life looks. Even the woman down the street with the perfect house, perfect lawn, perfect cars and perfect kids occasionally has days filled with heaviness.

Heaviness can come from an illness, a mood, a situation or concern in life and so many other things. But regardless of where it comes from, the challenge is getting rid of it!

To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. (Isaiah 61:3 NKJV – bold mine)

Praise Him! On those days that seem overwhelming and heavy, go before the Lord in praise!

I know this may be a difficult concept, and even more difficult in practice, but next time you’re having one of those days, consider giving it a try and see what happens.

“Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ” Philippians 1:27 nkjv

This week was a bit of a milestone week for me. After seven years of being an exclusive stay at home mommy I went back to work. Our youngest is in school for a full day now which gives me some time to have a part time job. (Plus I knew that if I was home my husband would expect our shower to be clean!) It’s an on call position which is even less demanding than a part time job.

I am a 911/Police dispatcher. It is a job that I held for quite a few years while my older two children were babies and starting school. It is what I love to do.

This Monday began my training. For the past seven years I have been warm and cozy in my Christian cocoon. If our church doors were open our family was in attendance. From Bible studies to potlucks, no matter what the occasion we immersed ourselves with the Word and fellowship.

God has now gently placed me back in the world. What an odd feeling it was to begin work with people who never speak His name or ever share with each other the joy they have in Jesus. The morning before I started work I committed my job to Him. When I had my time in the word, God was faithful to give me the above scripture.

I have to ask myself every morning before I head out the door – am I being an example? Just yesterday I met another dispatcher for the first time. Around her neck she wore a cross. My heart fluttered. I thought to myself, “Another Christian?” Then she proceeded to tell an awful story about someone and use a foul word. I was grieved. I wondered to myself, “How many times God have you smiled upon something I was doing or saying and then just as fast I destroyed my own testimony by my actions or words?”

Being a Christian at this new police department is a new experience for me. I was not a Christian when I worked as a dispatcher years before. I know God has placed me there for a purpose. His fingerprints have been all over my hiring process.

I just don’t know what His purpose is. So for now. I will be obedient. I will pray for all those working beside me and for myself too. My faith will keep me walking forward, with Jesus right by my side.

I am off now to finish getting ready for my shift. My strength is in Him and my mind is stayed on His word. I pray today and everyday that my conduct is worthy.

Oh Lord, I sure do need your help here. It is so easy for me to fall back into my old ways. Remind me that I am a new creation in Christ and give me the willpower to make my conduct worthy of you.