My neglect always led to feelings of guilt and fear of what I was going to find when I went downstairs to check on her. Finally, tired of waking up feeling like a failure before my day even started, I prayed and pondered – what was this dream trying to tell me.

It didn’t take me long to realize that I was living out my own version of Julie Ann Barnhill’s book, Motherhood: the Guilt that Keeps on Giving.

Can you relate?

My children are grown with children of their own, and I still feel like I could have and should have done so much more . . .  even though I gave parenting my all and then some.

Praise God! My heavenly Father came to my rescue – Again!

He reminded me that although it is true that I was not then, I’m not now, nor will I ever be a perfect mother, there are no perfect mothers. We are simply doing our best, and that’s what matters.

He reminded me that mothering like every other aspect of my life is covered by His grace and that is sufficient.

He reminded me that my children and grandchildren are His. I have not been called to be perfect nor is it my job to make them perfect. I have been called to love  and guide them by pointing them toward God’s love . . . and that I can do.

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

It’s been a while since I’ve had a “puppy in the basement” dream. Of course, I still have my mom guilt moments. Sometimes I think they come in the job description. However, now I try to quickly give those feelings over to God’s grace; trusting that His loving forgiveness is sufficient to cover my many weaknesses.

So, take a moment today to remind yourself of how very much the Lord loves you, forgives you, and covers you with His grace . . . then go hug your kids.

Photo Credit

Though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. Psalm 37:24 NIV

“Spencer! Spencer!” Amy called around the house looking for her son. Hearing stumbling from above, she walked to the stairs. On the top stair was Spencer – seizing. In distress, he had been searching for his mother. He knew she would help him through this storm. Like a dance they rehearsed, each knew their parts – neither chose them. His head drawn, voice gone, and arm jerking; he tried to take a step.

And fell – into the arms of his mother. She guided him to a safe spot and sat beside him. Together they waited for it to be over.

I spent the next day in the hospital emergency room with Spencer and Amy. As I listened to my friend recount the story, I was struck by the mental image of the falling and catching. I couldn’t help but notice the similarities to our relationship with Christ. When we are in trouble and stumble, He hears us. Sometimes, like Spencer, our voice is gone; we haven’t the strength to call. But in our hearts we cry out, “Help me.” Hoping, wishing desperately that miraculously He will hear us and will come.

And then He does.

So when you are falling back reaching anxiously for something, anything, your Heavenly Father is there. He catches us and guides us to a safe spot. Christ lovingly sits beside us and waits for it to be over. He didn’t stop the storm, but like the devoted mother of a child with epilepsy, He sits and waits with us for it to pass.

Are you in distress? Do you have a fear of falling or maybe failing? God will catch you. Just lean into His arms and trust. He will bring you through.

Lord, I pray for each person who reads this post today that is in desperate need of a safe landing. So many are hurting. Father, cover them with Your grace. Help them find shelter under Your wings and let them know You will never leave or forsake them. Amen.

***You can read more about my friend Amy and her courageous son HERE. Please pray for God to be in all of the medical details of Spencer’s life right now. And stop by to give my dear friend Amy a word of encouragement.

This family didn’t ask themselves all of the questions they might have asked as they tried to talk themselves out of doing something “crazy” like taking in another child when they already had so little for themselves. They responded to her need. They gave her a home. They adopted her to be their own.

Praise God!

You know we are much like Arminda. We were abandoned in our sins, in need of a home, and in need of love when God provided for us.

We were weak and could not help ourselves. Then Christ came at the right time and gave His life for all sinners. But God showed His love to us. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5: 6 & 8 (NLV)

Do you want to know what Arminda’s reaction has been to her new home and her new life?

Just look at her face. It tells it all.

As we visited with Arminda and her family, her infectious joy worked its way into each one of our hearts. She was loved. She was happy. It showed!

I wonder whether my life in Christ shows? I wonder . . . do I share infectious joy?

I learned something very important from Arminda, a little adopted girl in Bolivia. I want my life to look like hers.

I want . . . life saving grace = infectious joy!

With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26 NIV

photo © 2005 Luca Masters | more info (via: Wylio)

Have you ever thought about the power of the conjunction? A conjunction connects words, phrases, or clauses. It builds bridges between words, pathways linking words that may have otherwise never been united. One of my favorite popular and powerful conjunctions is but. A sentence can skip along in one direction, then with the addition of one little conjunction, the meaning can stop and march the other way.

Really. It’s that powerful. Here is an example. I want to give you half of the million dollars I just won in a contest, but I already spent it all. See? You were already planning a dinner of filet mignon until you got to that but, now you’re thinking grilled cheese.

God really makes great use of that crazy little conjunction. Just when we think things aren’t looking good, God throws in a but.

I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me. Psalms 118:13 NIV

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. Matthew 16:25 NIV

I am a sinner. The debt I owe is great, but Jesus paid it all. I like the sound of that. My life is the sentence. I was skipping off one way. Asking Jesus in my life threw a but into my life, and now I’m marching in a whole new direction. That seemingly insignificant conjunction made a bridge between the path I was traveling and the true path God created for me.

Do you have a run-on sentence trailing off in the wrong direction? Just ask God for his merciful conjunction, and turn yourself around.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Does this verse give you a little knot in the pit of your stomach? I am always so grateful for God’s amazing grace, for His overwhelming love, and for mercy given in undeserved forgiveness. I only wish I found it easier to extend the same mercy, grace, and love to others.

Do you struggle with memories of offenses that have hurt you? Words that betrayed? Cruel comments that left you with a broken heart? Do you feel justified when you replay those memories again and again? Maybe the offense was intentional, may be wasn’t. Maybe the offender has asked for forgiveness; more likely they haven’t. Some offenses cause momentary pain, some leave us looking at a changed life that will never feel the same.

The reason “forgive” is such a hard word is because our Father never qualified circumstances when it is okay not to forgive. In Matthew 18, Peter asked Jesus, “How many times must I forgive?” Jesus replied with a parable that ends this way:

Then the master called his servant in and said, ‘You evil servant! Because you begged me to forget what you owed, I told you that you did not have to pay anything. You should have showed mercy to that other servant, just as I showed mercy to you.’ The master was very angry and put the servant in prison to be punished until he could pay everything he owed. “This king did what my heavenly Father will do to you if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” v. 32-35

Does God really want me to forgive someone completely? From the heart?

Absolutely!

It’s taken me some time to understand the reasoning behind God’s command for His children to forgive like He forgives. When we refuse to forgive we are the ones who pay! It costs us our peace of mind, happiness, contentment, etc.

Bitter, hurt, and angry is no way to live. Several years ago, I began asking God to forgive through me, and I have to admit I didn’t feel like it at the time. I also asked Him to bless those who had caused me hurt. Each time I found myself rehearsing the offense, I prayed for the offender. Gradually over time forgiveness wasn’t just what I was doing, it’s how I felt . . . peace of mind, happiness, and contentment returned.

Although forgiveness is a hard word when I struggle to forgive, when I look at my own overwhelming need for forgiveness I change my perspective and realize that it is a good word. A very good word. It is the word of hope and redeeming love.

Father, thank-you for Your amazing grace and forgiveness. Please fill me with Your love that I might be able to forgive as I have been forgiven. In and through the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

“But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 9:14

When my daughter Grace was 4 1/2, I recorded a conversation we had about sin and heaven.

It’s amazing how God can work on the hearts of little ones, and how God’s teaching me even now to pause and rest, and catch Him working in these little moments… and in his little people!

This is the conversation that Grace had with me about sin.

Grace (4): “Sin is really bad.”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Grace: “What’s sin?”

Me: “Remember in the garden of Eden when Eve ate the apple she wasn’t supposed to?”

Grace: “Yes.”

Me: “That’s sin. Sin is when you do something wrong. Like when you’re mean to your brothers.”

Grace: “Yes, that’s sin.” She thought for a moment, then, “What about doing what I’m supposed to?”

Me: “Now that’s obedience.”

It’s funny how children can help you see things so clearly.

It made me think: am I doing what I’m supposed to? Am I walking in obedience today?

grace: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification b: a virtue coming from God c: a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace

I can’t get away from it this morning.

I woke up with these words–a space of grace–trailing again and again across my mind. I wanted to write about something entirely different here this morning, but the right words for that post are just too elusive. And so I’m giving in to the words that are here, and I’m exploring them.

I’ve always known these spots existed, these spaces of grace, but I’ve never had reason to put a name or a description to what they were, or what they meant to my life. They are these “pockets of time” in our spiritual journey when we experience moments so filled with His power that we are literally enabled to do what we could not do before.

Things seem to both, accelerate and slow at the same time. Oftentimes our learning, our talents, and our abilities will seem to be fast-tracked during these periods even while our observations, our reflections, and our times of meditation are slowed and filled with enormous amounts of clarity.

For some, these may be the times when they capture the vision of what they have to offer to the world around them, and they go for it. For others, these moments may be where they find strength to see their way out of temptations, and do. For still others, it is a time of discovering their voice, their passion, their ability to lead, and they step out in faith.

A space of grace is when we find ourselves in that holy place where heaven touches earth and we happen to be standing in the middle of it.

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it.” Hebrews 4:16

I saw a billboard a few weeks back that simply read, touching heaven, changing lives. That’s what this life is truly about, whether that life that becomes changed is someone else’s or our own.

For me, many of these times have meant moments of ‘lightbulb revelations’ – times when His word suddenly became real to me in ways that I’d either not understood before, or simply not seen before. It is during these times that I soak up, absorb, crave…more, more, more of Him. It is always a time of thankfulness, a time of rejuvenation, a time of a lot less struggle and a lot more energy.

Sometimes these pockets of time last days, sometimes months. To be honest, when the day would eventually come that I would realize that once more I seemed to be deep in the mire and muck that is daily life I would feel a bit of disappointment in myself.

I think – even though until now I’ve not taken the time to analyze these times – I thought that I had somehow brought myself to that spot with God. That my own spirituality had somehow merited me this favored time with Him. So if I’d brought myself to this special place, then it would only stand to reason that it would be ME who took myself away from it, who brought about the end of something so precious, so sacred.

Thinking about that this morning, I feel silly. But I also feel a deep joy bubbling in my soul that just cannot be unseated.

These times – these spaces of grace – are rest stops for our soul. I picture it as though I’m on a trip, a long journey, and I pull over to the side of the road. Not necessarily for a rest, or a drink, or a bite to eat. Maybe I pull over to take out the map, look back over the miles already traveled and plan and dream and anticipate the exciting stops that lie on my horizon.

It’s a time of planning and reflection, a time to dump out the trash and fuel up with all things good. It’s a time to look back on the road behind and see – maybe for the first time in a long while – just how far along on this journey that you are, and it’s a time to look ahead, knowing now from experience that the sights, the scenery, the people might move and change or even dissipate.

But not His great love. Not His direction. Never His grace.

I’m thankful this morning for spaces of grace.

Grace…
is the light that calls you
toward something so good that you’re scared to trust it.
You might even ignore it at first,
thinking it’s not for you.
Instead,
you try to get better
and fix things on your own.
You try to be strong.
Confident.
Perfect.

But hours of 3:00 a.m. sit-ups,
calorie counting,
dieting,
scrutinizing,
and hiding,
will make a person fall.

Yet Grace…
is the mighty hand that will catch you
and promise you
that you don’t have to be
perfect.

That you are loved
exactly
the way you are.

Grace…
is the gentle voice that lifts your chin,
tugs at your heart,
and encourages you to believe.

And when you do,
Grace rains
and pours
and washes away
moments,
days,
years,
of worry and trying,
trying,
trying,
on your own.

Grace…
restores your dreams,
fills your heart,
melts your fear,
and opens your eyes
so that you are once again able to see the beauty
in the world
and in yourself.

Grace…
is the free gift from God
that has the power to heal,
to renew,
to deliver,
no matter what your struggle is.
If only you’ll let it.

Grace…
is the cross.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. – Ephesians 2:8

Thank you, God, for your grace that set me free from my struggle with an eating disorder those many years ago. What has grace set you free from?

(This post was also featured on (In) Courage)

But during that phase, one day as I was writing at the kitchen table, he did something that surprised me.

Out of the blue, he walked over and climbed onto my lap.

At first, I thought maybe he was hurt or upset about something.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing.” He smiled.

Then he wrapped his arms around my neck, rested his head on my shoulder, and hugged me.

I hugged him back.

Tight.

“Love you, Mom,” he whispered.

“Love you, too.” I could barely get the words out.

And I wished the moment would never end.

A minute passed, and he slid off my lap and ran upstairs to play.

But his hug stayed with me.

And as I remember that day, I realize: that’s how God’s grace is.

It comes to us, often unexpected, and surprises us.

It holds us and whispers, “I love you.”

It catches us off guard with unconditional love.

It pierces our hearts.

And stays with us,

forever.

“The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.” –Numbers 6:24-26 (NIV)

My daughter thought it was a great feature too and had fun calling from room to room.

Especially at bed-time.

One night, literally a minute after we’d put the kids to bed, we heard the intercom…

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I picked up the phone.

“Mommy?” My daughter said. “Can I have some warm milk?”

“No, Honey. It’s late. You haven’t even tried to get to sleep yet.”

“But, Mommy?”

“What?”

“I’m starving.”

“You already had dinner and brushed your teeth. It’s time for bed.” I went to hang up the phone.

“Wait, Mommy. If I have crackers, do I have to brush my teeth again?”

“You can’t have crackers.”

“But I’m starving.”

I knew I should stand firm. I knew it. But against my better judgment, I started to waver.

Maybe she’s going through a growth spurt, I thought. Maybe she should have a little snack…

“All right,” I said, guiltily aware of the fact that I was teaching her if she bugged me long enough, I’d give in. “You can have an apple.”

“Mommy?”

“What?”

“What about quesadillas?”

“No!” I’d just caved and offered her a snack, and now she was getting picky? “No quesadillas. It’s bed-time. I’m hanging up the phone and I’m bringing you some apples.”

“Okay. But, Mommy?” she said in her sweetest voice possible.

“WHAT?”

“Can you please cook me some bacon?”

BACON?!?

“NO! I’m not making bacon. It’s nine o’clock! What do you think this is? Room service?”

Cute little laugh. “Yeah.”

I know I should’ve stopped the conversation right there and given her a consequence. But, blame it on being at that delirious parental breaking point where, like it or not, you’re either going to laugh or cry, I started cracking up.

I laughed, then she laughed, until we both laughed so hard we couldn’t stop.

“Well, it’s not,” I finally managed, catching my breath.

“Okay,” she said, still giggling.

“Listen.” I tried to sound firm. “I’ll cut you some strawberries if you don’t want apples. Then you need to go to sleep.”

“Okay. I’ll have strawberries.”

“Okay.” Sigh.

“And Mommy?” she said.

“What?!”

“While you’re at it, can you make me some warm milk?”…

After that, I didn’t think those intercoms were such a great feature after all. But you know what? Being able to laugh with my daughter, instead of getting angry at her, reminded me that sometimes it’s better to choose grace over punishment. I’m not saying discipline isn’t important; it is. I believe in giving kids boundaries and enforcing the rules, and that late-night snack conversation with my daughter wasn’t a normal occurance. But I am saying that sometimes, even when the people we love do something wrong, offering grace or overlooking an offense might be the right thing to do.

After all, isn’t that what God does for us? We all make mistakes. Yet He showers us with grace, love, and forgiveness.

So, whether we are parents or not, the next time someone we love does something we think they shouldn’t, or the next time we get irritated with them, may we remember God’s grace. And may that help us to give grace in return.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. – Ephesians 2:8